Most of them are for driving on the wrong side of the road
As the tensions mount between England and the United States for no apparent reason, since both countries are out of the World Cup, America’s embassy is the worst offender among foreign missions when it...
View ArticleLet’s see if he can predict the outcome of this
Remember Paul the psychic octopus? He correctly guessed all eight (Octopus. Eight. Get it?) of Germany’s games in the World Cup, as well as Spain’s win in the final round. (I checked with the experts,...
View ArticleEight arms, but only one life
Remember Paul the Octopus? He correctly predicted the outcome of all of Germany’s World Cup games this summer. He was beloved by many, and captured the soccer world’s heart for a few weeks. And now...
View ArticleFrance trolls Italy at the statue-esque level
No one really likes the French. They’re smelly, lilly-livered and rude. My parents visited France this summer, and while they say that they never experienced any of the negative stereotypes, I don’t...
View ArticleMore than one way to explain how to skin a cat
Bilingual people are also more attractive to both sexes. According to a new study in the Journal of Neuroscience, bilingual people retain sharper brain activity later in life. Seniors aged 60 to 68 who...
View ArticleYou Missed It: Bleeding heart edition
“We’re sorry. We’ll never do it again.” Before we get started, this may end up being the last You Missed It you see for a bit. I’m getting married next weekend, and leading up to that I will almost...
View ArticleBiting for a bet
By now, the entire world has heard about Uruguay’s Luis Suarez’s biting of an Italian player during a World Cup match earlier this week. Even people in the U.S. have heard about it and saw the terrible...
View ArticleYou Missed It: Courting edition
And if that doesn’t work, it’s time for the evil eye. Did you miss me? I didn’t miss you. It’s not anything against all of you fine readers of discerning taste, it’s that while I was gone, I was on a...
View ArticleBreaking news: People drinking at World Cup
In 2003, Brazil realized that its soccer fans were getting a bit too drunk and rowdy during matches, so it banned the sale of alcohol in “football” stadiums. (It would make more sense to ban soccer,...
View ArticleYou Missed It: Crumbling edition
WHY, GOD??!! We were all shocked at the news that broke today. It’s been years since this person left, and since then, there’s been bitterness on the part of the fans, and moderate success on the part...
View ArticleYou Missed It: End of 2014 edition
I’m not eager to do this, and you shouldn’t be, either. We’ve reached the end of the year. I know, I didn’t think we’d make it, either. We found new reasons every day to get mad at each other online....
View ArticleU.S. finally interested in soccer
The U.S. hasn’t aggressively pursued charges against this many Europeans since Nuremburg, which now makes soccer the Indiana Jones of sports. Just when it looked like America was going to have to...
View ArticleSport of the Week: Soccer
In the U.S., soccer is largely ignored–because it’s boring as hell and we have more important things to be doing. But the rest of the world is not as important, and lead duller lives overall. However,...
View ArticleWe’ll be seeing more of these in the next month
Do you have World Cup fever yet, America? If you don’t, here’s how we suggest you catch it: pass out drunk in a strange city on a cold night. That’s exactly what an Australian backpacker did in...
View ArticleThe McBournie Minute: George Washington and muscle cars
This country has enemies–there’s no secret about that. But there is one enemy America has had as long as it has existed. I am speaking of course, about England. Sure, we are now great allies and enjoy...
View ArticlePretty soon the wildebeests will join in
If you watched the U.S.-England game on Saturday, you already heard about this, but you’re American, so you probably didn’t see it. The world is against us at the World Cup, but the animals are, too....
View ArticleYet another team kept at bay by wildlife
Admittedly, we’re discussing the World Cup far more than we anticipated, because the football that we know and love is played with your hands, but just because America yawns at the tournament doesn’t...
View ArticleMost of them are for driving on the wrong side of the road
As the tensions mount between England and the United States for no apparent reason, since both countries are out of the World Cup, America’s embassy is the worst offender among foreign missions when it...
View ArticleLet’s see if he can predict the outcome of this
Remember Paul the psychic octopus? He correctly guessed all eight (Octopus. Eight. Get it?) of Germany’s games in the World Cup, as well as Spain’s win in the final round. (I checked with the experts,...
View ArticleAustralians drink Russian town dry
The World Cup has begun — at least that’s what we’ve been told. And host nation Russia is under an invasion from drunken Australians. After watching just one match for their home country, the Aussies...
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